Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Twists and Turns of My Heart

Gabriel and Hannah left just before dawn yesterday morning for their second semester of college. They took a carload of all the things they needed and some things they wanted to make their dorm rooms more comfy. They also took a huge piece of my heart. What's left of my poor heart has been twisted and turned so many times in the last several months. I am so excited for their successes. I love that they love college life. But I miss them; their hugs and their laughter. Yet I know that to keep them here would not be the best thing for them. Who wants a 30-40 year old son living at home living at home and playing video games? They must grow up. They must fly away. But they are so far away. They cannot come home on the weekends. I miss snuggling with Hannah on the couch and watching a chick flick. I miss Gabriel's sense of humor. He always makes me laugh. I realize how blessed I am to have such amazing kids. I am grateful for the one on one time with Holly. She enjoys the individual attention. Yet she will spend her teen years without having siblings around. Oh, do you see the maze that my heart is going through? So many emotions! I have always known that motherhood involved the cutting of the apron strings. I just didn't know it was such a long and painful process.

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